Single for 4 Weeks
by GSRsara4eva1623
Summary: This story is about Sara's thoughts while Grissom is on sabbatical during season seven. I had always wanted to write a story about that. GSR. Contains self-harm, which is the only reason I rated this story M. Otherwise, it would've been T.


**Disclaimer: **I own nothing! Though I do enjoy taking the innocent CSI characters through some twists and turns. Don't worry, they are always returned good as new.

**Rating:** Strong T - M. I rated this M just to be safe. This story includes self-harm. If it didn't, it would be rated T.

**Timeline: **During season seven. I wrote this because I've always wanted to write something on Sara's thoughts when Grissom went on sabbatical in season seven. GSR all the way, because there's nothing else!

**Like my other stories: This is not beta'd, all mistakes are mine **(please PM me if you find any)

**A/N:** Okay, well, this story just popped into my head today, and I thought it was good, so I decided to post it. I had always wanted to write something that explored Sara's thoughts while Grissom was on sabbatical, and this is what I came up with. I know the cases that are mentioned in my story never actually happened in the show, but we only see their Thursday night cases, so what about Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, right?

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Sara didn't know how to describe her feelings of abandonment the moment he announced he would be going on sabbatical. It had only been four days since he left, and yet, she was already falling apart. She couldn't stand staying at his townhouse when he wasn't there, knowing he wouldn't be back for weeks. Instead, she stayed at her apartment, packing a few things to take with her from the town house; she barely used her apartment anymore.

When she entered the apartment, she was hit with the feeling of defeat like wind gushing at her. Returning here felt like giving up, admitting that Grissom wouldn't be returning from his month long sabbatical, and it was her way of admitting to herself that she was the reason for his absence, his need to get away from anything and everything, including her.

Within the first four days of his absence, there was already a case involving a domestically abused woman, and another with a girl who was raped repeatedly by her father. Luckily, she had only been assigned to those two cases after the scene had been worked and after the suspects and victims had been interviewed. Still, the cases did hit her hard. She needed someone to talk to, and being that Grissom hadn't taken the chance to call, left her feeling even more alone and only concealing her emotions within herself. She knew that by the time he returned, if he did, she would be drawn too deep within herself to be brought back out.

She had gone to take a shower after shift. Scolding hot water pounding on her back seemed to release the pressure from the nagging thoughts in her head, if only for a little while. But once the water turned cold, and she wasn't concentrating on her own physical pain, every thought came rushing back to her and again she was focusing on her emotional pain. Muttering random complaints and conversations with herself, she reached for the razor on one of the shelves in the shower. Her hands had been soapy, and though the razor's handle had a no-slip-grip, it still slid from her hand, cutting her knee as it made its way down to the shower floor. She cursed as she saw the blood pour from the cut, it was deeper than she expected. The pain tickled her leg, and again drew her thoughts away from her emotions. She relaxed slightly as she let the pain run through her.

Cutting had been a bad habit she had before her relationship with Grissom. It was always her escape when there was no one she trusted enough around that she could talk with. Once she started dating Grissom, her need to cut had just vanished, like magic in some strange way. It had been so long since she had last intentionally cut herself, she had forgotten how nice it was to feel the pain.

As she watched the blood fall from her knee and mix with the water going down the drain, she made no move to stop the bleeding. Except relaxing into the sweet relief she was getting from her own pain. All her guilt for the two people in the cases she had been working -even though she had not done anything wrong- went away with the pain that punished her, a revenge that fought to make her feel the same as they had.

The cut clotted and she no longer had the distraction of pain to keep her thoughts from wandering. Stepping out of the shower, she realized that that one occurrence would change everything for the next few weeks.

For the month he was gone, she never bothered to call him, and he didn't try to reach her. She tried to keep her mind away from that topic because it just got her more upset, and caused her cuts to be more harmful. Then, he sent her the cocoon. Somehow he must've figured out that she probably wasn't staying at the townhouse, and so he addressed it to her through the lab instead. She didn't know exactly what to make of it, though it did frustrate her that he hadn't send a note with the package. Not knowing what to make of it, she had placed it in his office, not just because of the environment like she would later tell him, but more because when every she looked at it, it would bring her thoughts to a bad place. She still blamed herself for his sabbatical, after all.

A case she didn't think would irritate her, had twisted in some unexpected way. They had been called onto the case told that a woman had stabbed her husband while her fifteen year old daughter was at a friend's house. Only, it turned out, that the daughter had stabbed her own father because he was abusive to both her and her mother. When she had confessed, she claimed her motive was her need to defend her mother that night after her father came home drunk.

Upon arriving home after pulling a lengthy double for that case, she had caused the deepest life-long scar that would be on her body forever more.

She was thankful that the next week Grissom would be returning from his sabbatical. Though she was still very unsure of how it would turn out, she couldn't stand keeping everything inside any longer.

She hoped he would be back before shift started, but as she locked up her apartment and headed to work, she realized that she would see him after he arrived at the lab upon returning from sabbatical.

The moment she recognized his voice in the hallway a chill ran down her back. She was glad he was back, but of course she hoped whatever would unfold here in the lab would be something friendly. And of course, she wasn't thrilled about seeing him right after going dumpster diving. When he said, "I'll see you later," it was more of a question than a statement, a question only the two of them knew the real meaning behind. Replying with a "Yeah, you will" was confirming to them both that she would be at his townhouse after shift. Knowing this, she was relieved as she walked down the lab hallways. Now she desperately wanted shift to end.

She had gotten to the townhouse before him. Her case had been finished faster than expected; therefore, she had left work early, something she never thought she would do in her life. She was sitting on the couch flicking through TV channels when she heard the lock to the front door click undone.

She was in his arms immediately, forgetting all her doubts about his reasons behind leaving. She kissed him hard, though it was full of love and passion. A smile spread on her face as he returned the kiss. She had pulled away, caressing his cheek with her hand and running her fingers over his beard. The look on her face, made him ask, "What? You don't like it?"

"It's different, that's all," she said, again hugging herself close to him. His hands had roamed down the length of her arms, fingers curling around the hem of her blouse. He looked to her as if for permission to continue. She kissed him softly to show he had her permission. It was like they were back to their first time together; both making sure continuing was okay with the other.

They had ended up tangled in the sheets of his bed together, perspiration covering their bodies, after their love-making. His arms held her close as her head was rested on his shoulder, both snuggling closely to each other. His fingers traced random, nonsense patterns on her stomach, and traveled to her hip as she shifted slightly in his arms. His fingers ran over the deep cut she had created a week ago.

"Honey, how'd you get this?" he asked, just feeling it he could tell it would leave a scar. She looked down to where his fingers had rested. She debated her options of what she could tell him: an accident (in such a weird spot? That wouldn't work), I don't know (he wouldn't buy that either). She definitely didn't want to tell him the truth, but it seemed to be the only option that would work. She took a deep breath, and looked up at him.

"I couldn't take care of myself," she said quietly, it was the only way she could think of admitting what she did, and her voice showed how ashamed she was of it.

"What do you mean?" he asked, confused by her answer.

"The cases stressed me out, you never called, and I had no one to talk to. I didn't know what to do. It started with an accident, I swear, the razor slipped and cut my knee," she was rambling, afraid he would be mad at her, though he hadn't been angry with her when he first found out about her old habit. "I hadn't been doing this since we got together… You were always there for me, I could talk to you about anything, instead of worrying about what you thought of me, and I could lean on you for support with the troubling cases, instead of keeping it all to myself like I used to… And when you left for sabbatical, I blamed myself."

"You should've called me," he said sympathetically.

"**You** should've called **me**," she retorted back, with more anger in her voice than she had wanted.

"Sara, honey, I'm sorry. You could've told me," he said, tightening his embrace on her.

"You shouldn't have left," she said glumly, resting her head down on his chest, no longer looking up at him. She really didn't want to fight about something that was in the past, considering they couldn't change anything that happened, but she did want to get her point across.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt that way about it."

"Well, what was I supposed to think? You never mentioned you were considering taking the sabbatical and you only told me a few days before you would be leaving. Only when you **had **to tell me-" Gently lifting her face up to him, he captured her lips with his, thankfully ending her tirade. When he pulled back she playfully glared at him.

"You're not off the hook that easily," she said.

"I didn't expect to be," he said, again kissing her and pulling her close.

**FIN**

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**A/N: **Reviews are greatly appreciated (especially because I haven't figured out how to view how many hits my stories have gotten since they changed around the account pages)!! : )** Puh-leaze Review!**


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